Sometimes we have to make a choice for ourselves. It might go against the grain, it might be disapproved by others, and it might feel very lonely to make your choice. But the truth is that we are all just humans figuring it out one day at a time, one step at a time. Making choices in this life is uncertain, it’s always been but if we make the choice that feels most authentic to us, the choice that keeps us in integrity with ourselves, it allows us to recognize the person looking back at us in the mirror every day. Enjoy this reflection on stepping into a “Human” New Year by Mindrise Coach, Jennifer Wielage, she reminds us that we are ALL figuring it out…

A “Human” New Year

by Mindrise Coach, Jennifer Wielage

Recently, some of my family who I love, and who are very dear to me, made it clear they disapproved of a choice that I made for my life.

And because I believe in my decision and value my freedom and autonomy, my choice is non-negotiable.

At the same time, I treasure my relationships. Anyone who knows me knows that connection is high up there on my priority list. I desperately wanted their approval, their support and their acceptance. I didn’t want to lose them.

But alas, the reality is that, for the most part, they have withdrawn from my life.

And I am sad.

And that got me thinking: This year, instead of striving for a “happy” New Year, why not instead shoot for a more “human” New Year?

For 2022, my goal is not to be happy. It is to be more fully human.

I want to give myself permission to be more fully myself, allowing and acknowledging all of my feelings. This is how I believe I am going to achieve evolving into the best version of myself.

At the same time, I also want to allow people to be completely themselves, understanding that they are merely humans, too, who are trying to navigate this life in whatever way they think is best for them, at their own level of consciousness.

Happiness is fleeting, but true love remains.

Besides, we are not supposed to be happy all of the time anyway. That would be so weird.

We don’t want to be happy when someone dies, when we lose our job or when our friend is hurting.

In fact, we would be considered “out of our minds” if we were happy all of the time.

But on some level, we’ve forgotten that we aren’t supposed to be happy all of the time. We drool over social media posts that feature the most amazing highlight reels of people’s best-lived moments.

Then, when we are sad, frustrated, anxious, etc., we use it as evidence that there’s something wrong with us.

And because we are feeling these “negative” emotions, we often turn to something we think will make us feel happy — like eating cookies.

And it works!

Eating cookies feels a little like happiness at the moment, giving us that “dopamine hit” that takes us away from feeling negative and transports us to the Land of Happiness — albeit temporarily.

Everyone handles their negative emotions differently. Some overeat, some overdrink, some binge-watch Netflix, some do even more destructive things to avoid feeling their feelings.

By numbing out, we don’t have to feel. These false pleasures eventually leave us even more unhappy, and now we have to deal with the unintended consequences of our actions.

Now we are not only sad, but sad and heavy-set. And we continue to overeat because we are sad and feel horrible about ourselves. We are not only angry, but now we are angry and addicted so we keep reaching for the drugs to cover our shame. We are not only anxious, but we are also sick and when we are sick, we get more anxious and the cycle continues.

In our attempt to avoid our pain, we actually stay stuck in a self-destructive loop — and we are continually unhappy about being unhappy! The more unhappy we are, the more we do destructive behaviors, trying desperately to get relief. It doesn’t work.

I understand.

Feeling the uncomfortable feelings of being human doesn’t necessarily feel good.

BUT here’s the truth: It’s normal to feel bad sometimes, and the full range of emotions are exactly what God intended for our lives.

When we experience all of our emotions, we ultimately become limitless on what we can accomplish and what we can handle. Instead of running away, resisting or reacting to our sadness, our anxiousness, our humiliation, our rejection, we can just simply accept the feelings, process them and keep going and create the life of our dreams, embracing all of it.

What if we weren’t afraid to feel any emotion? Can you imagine the things we would try, the steps we would take, the people we would welcome into our lives if we weren’t afraid to feel?

Why not allow ourselves to just be human?

What if we just assumed that half the time, we weren’t going to feel very good and the other half the time, we were going to feel amazing?

Then when we begin to feel some negative emotions coming up for us, or we are experiencing a difficult time, we can acknowledge it as part of a normal human experience of life. Nothing has gone wrong.

As we step into the New Year, let us be open to all possibilities for what God has in store for us, realizing that humanness, not happiness is the end goal. 

Try on being more human for size. See how that suits you!

Let’s allow ourselves the grace to be exactly who we are and accept ourselves and others completely — as fellow humans also on a journey.

So this year, I will not wish you a happy New Year. Rather, I will wish you a very human New Year!

Let’s grow, evolve and become the best humans we can be!

“Every day, think as you wake up: Today, I am fortunate to be alive. I have a precious human life. I am not going to waste it.”

Are you ready to say YES to you for 2022? Jen can help! Click here to schedule a 20 minute Strategy Session with our Mindrise Coaches.