I believe that we all want to belong–to something. Sometimes this belonging comes from wanting to be part of something bigger than ourselves, other times I think that the desire for belonging comes from wanting to be needed. To know that we matter. To know that we are wanted.

The need to belong isn’t a weakness, it’s incredibly human. It’s human to want to be wanted. We are biologically wired to depend on others–we are not built for solitude and loneliness, that is why it is so painful.

It’s painful to feel alone, it’s painful to hold it all in–to hold in the sadness, to hold in the joy, to hold in the moments when you have something to celebrate and feel as if you have no one to high-five. Life is meant to be shared.

I’ve also learned that there are many times when we aren’t as alone as the story we are telling ourselves. If we really look around, there are people in our world that are rooting for us, people who love us, people who want the best for us. We just need to look around–and even more than looking around, we need to reach out.

While it’s a bit of a waste of time to resurrect the debate on the perils of technology on connection vs the advantages, the truth is that anything that creates disconnection or the ability to shield us from our emotions can create distance.

So, what do you do when you want to belong?

  • Reach out–call someone, show up, knock, smile
  • Ask–ask for help, ask for support, ask for an ear, ask to belong
  • Join–a group, a cause, a 5k, a family dinner (even if it’s not your family)

Our life is made up of opportunities to have it look exactly how we want it to look–ask yourself, “when it comes to connection, what am I craving?” follow that urge. Follow the pull, the desire, the want for more and something else–perhaps there is where you will find your +1.


Mindrise is all about the +1, having someone in your corner. When it comes to coaches–we are cheerleaders and ass-kickers. We are the strategy to help you “figure it out” and the supportive shoulder to lean on. We don’t believe in white-knuckling it and going alone–we believe that a rising tide lifts all ships.

That’s why we specialize in 1:1 coaching AND teaching people how to become coaches.