I don’t know about you but my plate feels full these days, I feel unfocused at times trying to do six million things at once. EVERY single time, it takes be out of presence and makes me forget who I am. I’m working on it, and this latest blog from Mindrise Coach, Jennifer Weilage helps me to see how I can take back my power and get back to being me!!
Call Me Distracted
by Mindrise Coach, Jennifer Wielage
I remember watching my nephew play baseball. He was age five, playing centerfield at the time. The batter was up at bat, the ball landed inches from his feet, and lo and behold, that little cutie began chasing a butterfly all around the outfield!
I’m sure those with children in their lives can completely match this story with one of their own.
While children are known to have shorter attention spans than adults, did you know that the average adult in the U.S., with the constant barrage of digital media, has a shorter attention span than a goldfish, which – if you’re still reading this – is about nine seconds.
What is happening to us as a society?
I see it all around me, and I am right there with the best of ‘em, chin down, scrolling through social media, checking emails, ordering from Amazon, answering texts from multiple friends, all at once. Sigh.
I had my “hit-rock-bottom” moment last week. As I was leaving work, phone in hand, eyes on it, I neglected to see the large, and I mean large, marble column in front of me. Thankfully, I looked up just in time or, (a), I would have been severely injured, or (b), I would have been completely humiliated, the laughing stock of those around me in the lobby. Then again, would anyone have even noticed?
Are you, like me, distracted often? Whether it be the cell phone, overworking, binge-watching Netflix, excessive online or in-store shopping or using substances such as alcohol or drugs, these are all ways we “numb out” and check out of our lives. I think it has become an epidemic, the inability to enjoy the present moment without distractions.
It is time for me to be honest with what is behind my cell phone addiction.
1. It makes me feel important.
When I hear my phone beep, I get excited. Someone wants to communicate with me. Someone is thinking of me. It feeds my desire to be cared for, to be needed, to be loved. When someone “likes” one of my posts, I feel a high that, although temporary, gives my ego a boost and makes me feel euphoric for that brief moment.
2. It keeps me busy.
Whether it be watching funny dog videos or the latest sensation on America’s Got Talent, it’s entertainment right in the palm of my hand. It makes the time go faster while waiting on line at the grocery store and it keeps me amused during the wait at the dentist’s office.
3. I don’t want to be with myself, experiencing my thoughts and emotions.
Oftentimes, I unconsciously distract myself because, if I stay present, I would have to sit with my own thoughts and feelings. I fear looking inside of myself and facing what I may find there. The phone is the perfect distraction to take me out of myself and into Cyberspace where I can completely zone out and ignore any uncomfortable feelings that might otherwise arise.
4. I don’t want to experience what is happening around me, especially when it’s difficult.
I also distract myself so that I don’t have to see what is around me. I work in New York City. On my walk to work, I pass countless homeless people. Their cardboard signs read “Homeless at 20 after losing my mom,” “Homeless and have colon cancer,” “Homeless and Cold. Please Help.” To say it is heartbreaking to face this reality is an understatement. On my daily commute, I keep my head down so as not to see the devastating sight of human beings sleeping in cardboard boxes in the middle of the sidewalk.
I desire to break my addiction to distractions. Instead of staring at a phone screen, I want to show up to my husband and my family in a way that values them and makes them confident that their company is enough. I want to have meaningful conversations, face-to-face encounters with my friends. I long for laughter, eye contact, sharing joys, being present with them, remaining focused and in tune to whatever other emotions may surface, while making lasting memories together.
I want to be able to sit in stillness, get acquainted with the present moment, without feeling uncomfortable or bored. I want to get my self-worth and value from God rather than how many “likes” I have on a post.
I want to experience everything that is around me, even the difficult realities, especially the difficult realities, knowing that it is only by seeing and acknowledging problems that they can be solved.
