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Putting Myself on the Menu

So, I hired a coach. I like calling her my "book sherpa" and I've also taken to referring to her as "The Book Lady." The truth was, I felt really sick and tired of saying, "I'm working on my 3rd book," while I just kept getting in my own way of actually writing it and getting it done. (You can find out more about what was getting in my way here.) We all need accountability sometimes (all the time).Read more

by Bailey Frumen

Summer Success Starts with Confidence: A Guide to Navigating the Homestretch of the School Year

If you're anything like me, you've been in the whirlwind of wrapping up the school year and getting ready for summer. I don't know about you but...MY HEAD IS SPINNING. As the school year draws to a close, it's natural to feel a mix of excitement and anxiety about what lies ahead. For some, summer means a break from the routine of classes and homework. For others, it may be a time of transition, whether that means starting a whole new routine, being WAY out of your routine, too many variables to juggle, or upcoming summer trip planning. Whatever your circumstances, one thing is certain: summer success starts with confidence.

Even if your whole life is about to turn upside down....you've got to start with confidence first (here's how...)

Confidence is the key to achieving success in any area of life. Whether you're starting a business, pursuing a new relationship, or simply trying to be the best version of yourself, confidence is essential. Without it, you're likely to second-guess yourself, hesitate to take risks, and ultimately fall short of your goals.

But what is confidence, exactly? At its core, confidence is about trusting yourself and your abilities. It's the belief that you're capable of overcoming challenges, learning from mistakes, and achieving your dreams. When you have confidence, you're more likely to take bold action, speak up for yourself, and pursue your passions with vigor.

Understanding the link between confidence and fulfillment

Confidence isn't just about achieving external success, however. It's also about finding fulfillment in your life. When you have confidence in yourself, you're more likely to pursue the things that bring you joy and fulfillment, whether that's a creative hobby, a meaningful relationship, or a career that aligns with your values.

On the other hand, when you lack confidence, you may find yourself settling for less than you deserve, staying in toxic relationships, or pursuing a career that doesn't fulfill you. Over time, this can lead to feelings of frustration, resentment, and even depression.

3 Tips for building confidence:

So how can you build confidence? The first step is to recognize that confidence is something that can be developed over time. It's not something you're born with or without, but rather a skill that can be honed through practice and experience.

1. One of the most effective ways to build confidence is to set small, achievable goals for yourself. Each time you accomplish one of these goals, you'll gain a sense of accomplishment and pride that will help boost your confidence for the next challenge.
2. Another important aspect of building confidence is to surround yourself with positive influences. Seek out friends, mentors, and role models who inspire you and encourage you to be your best self. Avoid people who bring you down or make you feel inadequate.
3. Finally, be kind to yourself. Remember that everyone makes mistakes and experiences setbacks from time to time. When you encounter obstacles, don't beat yourself up. Instead, focus on what you can learn from the experience and use that knowledge to grow and improve.

Overcoming self-doubt and negative self-talk

Of course, building confidence is easier said than done. Many people struggle with self-doubt and negative self-talk, which can be major obstacles to developing confidence.

If you find yourself plagued by self-doubt and negative self-talk, there are a few strategies you can use to overcome these obstacles:

START HERE > Practice self-compassion--this means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a good friend. When you make a mistake or experience a setback, remind yourself that it's a normal part of the learning process and that you're doing your best.

Another strategy is to challenge your negative self-talk. When you catch yourself thinking things like "I'm not good enough" or "I'll never be able to do this," ask yourself if those thoughts are really true. Often, negative self-talk is based on irrational fears or unfounded assumptions. By questioning those thoughts and replacing them with more positive, realistic ones, you can reprogram your mind to be more confident and self-assured.

3 Strategies for Preparing for the summer ahead....

As the school year winds down, it's important to start preparing for the summer ahead. Whether you're planning to travel, work, or simply relax, taking some time to set goals and make a plan can help you feel more confident and in control.

1. Start by identifying what you want to accomplish over the summer. Do you want to learn a new skill, complete a project, or spend more time with loved ones? Whatever your goals, write them down and break them into smaller, more manageable steps.
2. Next, think about any obstacles or challenges you might face in achieving those goals. Do you need to save money, overcome a fear, or develop a new habit? Identify those obstacles and come up with a plan to address them.
3. Finally, make a schedule that will help you stay focused and on track. Whether you use a planner, a to-do list, or a digital app, having a plan in place can help you stay motivated and confident as you work toward your goals.

Setting goals for the summer and beyond

In addition to setting goals for the summer, it's also important to think about your long-term aspirations. What do you want to achieve in the coming years and decades? What kind of life do you want to create for yourself?

When setting long-term goals, it's important to be both ambitious and realistic. Aim high, but also be honest with yourself about what's possible given your current circumstances. Break your goals into smaller, more manageable steps, and celebrate each milestone along the way.

Remember, too, that your goals may change over time. As you grow and develop, you may discover new passions or priorities that shift your focus. That's okay. The important thing is to keep setting goals that inspire and motivate you, and to stay committed to pursuing them with confidence and determination.

Finding balance and avoiding burnout

As you work toward your goals and pursue your dreams, it's important to find balance and avoid burnout. This means taking care of your physical and emotional health, and making time for rest and relaxation.

One of the best ways to find balance is to prioritize self-care. This might mean getting regular exercise, getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, or practicing mindfulness or meditation. It might also mean setting boundaries with friends and family, so that you have time and space to focus on your own needs and goals.

Another important aspect of finding balance is learning to say no. When you're ambitious and driven, it can be tempting to take on too much and spread yourself too thin. But overcommitting can lead to stress, anxiety, and burnout. Learning to say no to things that don't align with your goals or values can help you stay focused and energized.

Seeking support from family, friends, and professionals

Finally, remember that you don't have to go it alone. Seeking support from family, friends, and professionals can help you stay on track and achieve your goals with confidence and ease.

Whether you need help with a specific challenge or simply want someone to encourage and inspire you, there are many resources available. Consider reaching out to a Mindrise Coach, therapist, or support group to help you stay motivated and focused as you navigate the challenges and opportunities of summer and beyond.

Here's the deal...

As the school year comes to a close and the summer ahead looms large, it's natural to feel a mix of excitement and anxiety. But by cultivating confidence, setting goals, and seeking support, you can enjoy a summer filled with growth, learning, and fulfillment.

Remember, confidence isn't just about achieving external success. It's also about finding joy and meaning in your life, and pursuing the things that bring you the most happiness and fulfillment. By prioritizing self-care, staying focused on your goals, and seeking support when you need it, you can create a life that's both successful and enjoyable.

So go forth with confidence, and make the most of the summer and beyond. With the right mindset and support, anything is possible.

REMEMBER:

If you're struggling with transitions or planning, consider reaching out to a Mindrise Coach for support. A Mindrise Coach can help you set goals, develop a plan, and stay motivated as you navigate the challenges and opportunities of life. With the right support, you can achieve your dreams and enjoy a life filled with confidence and fulfillment.

by Bailey Frumen

If this isn't what I'm supposed to be doing...what should I be doing?

I was at my third job of the day, it was 9pm at night and all I could think about as I left my office was if I would be able to meet the Chinese delivery guy in the driveway before they closed for the evening. I worked hard—for my degrees (undergraduate and masters), I climbed the ladder of what I was “supposed” to do in becoming a psychotherapist.Read more

by Bailey Frumen

The Summer of Slow

I'm exhausted. The last few months, I have felt like a duck in water--it looks all good on the surface but my feet are feverishly paddling down below to stay afloat. And I'm worn out. While the days have been filled with so many good things--from launches to ballet recitals, memorials and birthday parties to new friendships, concerts, and roadtrips. It's the first month of the summer and I need to reset and refresh.

When we are busy doing things we don't want to do, it feels daunting and we can lose steam easily, but when our days are packed with the good stuff, tired feels like it just sneaks up on you.

I'm making a case for slowing down this summer.

I'm looking down the road at a beautiful stretch of summer ahead and I want to savor it. I want to relish in each and every moment, looking back in the fall and winter to come with a smile on my face and faded tan lines from a summer well spent.

So much of how I've built my business and my life has been about hustle culture >> Go. Do. Push. Make it work. Do more.

And here's the thing--it worked. I grew a business from absolutely nothing that is now nearly 10 years old. I'm very proud of it and I realize that what it took to get me to where I am in my career won't be the same skillset that I am relying on going forward.

My "hustle muscles" won't atrophy but I think for the start of summer, I'm feeling inspired to slow down and put myself on the menu.

The team met last week to talk about our summer plans--all the things to launch and the new programs to roll out and run, and while I'm excited to share it with you all, I think a bit of rest is in order.

Time to reset, reflect, and reconnect with myself (and I hope you are inspired to time some time too).

I always say that no one is going to come and knock on your door and tell you that it's time to rest, that's something that you choose for yourself. It's very easy (and quite alluring) to stay on the hamster wheel of hustle and busy. For so many of us, it's what we have always known.

But I'm making a case for pulling the arrow back this summer so we can shoot it further ahead down the road. To rejuvenate and truly savor each moment that lies in wait ahead of you.

That's why we decided to host the Mindrise Summer Series--mini-lessons on getting back to yourself and reconnecting with yourself this summer. I know that I'm going to be working on me so I thought it best to share my favorite tools with you.

As of now, we are planning to host it live via zoom on Thursdays at 1pm EST, 15-20 minute mini lessons for inspiration, life hacks, and a reset with yourself. I'll show you how. Our game plan is for them to be live and send everyone the replay, we'll see how that goes because I've been getting the sneaking suspicion that we are all pretty zoomed out these days and most people want the recording when they want it. We're going live starting Thursday, 6/23 at 1pm EST and we'll see how it goes from there.

You can sign up here (for live or just to grab the replay too).

In the meantime, I'm taking a few days off, hoping on a boat, going to the beach, and going to attempt camping (wish me luck...and any camping advice you might have)... I'll see you all at the Mindrise Summer Series--our first topic will be Taking Back Your Time.

by Bailey Frumen

How to Change Who We Are

How many voices do you have in your head? How many versions of you are vying for the talking stick at once, trying to make decisions in your life?

We have the child-self…which often has unhealed wounds we are still operating from…We have our angsty-teenage self…either bucking the system or just dying to rebel…We have our people-pleaser…

…our inner achiever…
…our biggest critic…
…our comparison monster…We have the part of us that doesn't want to fail….
…the part that wants to get it right…
…that wants to be right…
…the part of us that's tired, the part that wants to take charge…the part that wants to lay down…

Inevitably there are lots of parts within ourselves that need to be seen, heard, made valuable, and tended to and this is why humanning can be hard.

This is why the sheer act of committing to tuning in and listening to yourself can be hard. Which version of us is at the wheel when we make decisions? Which version of ourselves is at play when we stress out or overreact, or under react, or allows ourselves to be treated in a way that is less than we deserve?

Sometimes it's old wounds that we get caught up in—old beliefs and narratives that are at play for so long that we don't even recognize whether or not they are actually serving us.

And truth be told, sometimes they are hard to put down. It's incredibly challenging to put down or release something that isn't serving us when it has been familiar to our story about who we are, what we rate capable of, or what the world is like that we have formulated in our heads.

The thing we have to remember is that it's all just words--just narrative that left unchecked or unexamined, can reek havoc in our lives. It's by taking the time to go within and to create time to check in that we can truly ever really fully grow into who we are meant to be and achieve the biggest desires that we have for our life.

Honestly—the ah-ha’s and awarenesses that I have gained from taking this time to allow myself to grow have always repaid me dividends many times over and is in large party the catalyst for writing the new Elevate Journal.

It's a matter of wanting to put a coaching session into everyone's back pocket—a place that you could examine and look within. Journals help us to both make a commitment to ourselves as well as create space to examine and grow.I believe that we only grow in direct correlation to the depth of the questions that we are asking ourselves.

From this depth is sometimes the only way that you can access the deeper connection and relationship to building trust with yourself.

Here's to growing—grab your Elevate Journal now and be sure to register your purchase to get free new meditations and downloads!

by Bailey Frumen

Dare to Dream

Dare to Dream

by Mindrise Coach, Jennifer Wielage

I dare you to dream.  

I dare you to look inside, precious one, and imagine what you are here to create, to experience, to accomplish with this one wild and precious life.

I dare you to discover your soul’s true purpose.   

I dare you to ignore that recurring voice in your head with which you often identify; that critical voice that puts you down, tells you how impossible it will be or reports “fake news” about your potential.

I dare you to remain open to the possibility that this reflection is written specifically for you because, most likely, that voice is telling you this message is for somebody else.

 Are you open to the truth that you have what it takes to shine; to show up for yourself and others in a way that blows your own mind?   Yes, you.   Stay with me.   Remain open.  What if this is for you, the nonbeliever, you who shies away from discomfort; you who have stopped believing in possibility? 

I dare you to try it; whatever it is; no matter how small, ridiculous or impossible it may seem.  I dare you to move just one small step closer to what lights you up, understanding you must crawl before you walk and walk before you run.   

What if you weren’t afraid to feel uncomfortable, awkward, rejected?  What if you welcomed it all and allowed it all?   I dare you.

Because going after our dreams will not be all rainbows, daisies and butterflies.  It will be excruciatingly uncomfortable at times.  Our brains favor familiarity; and pursuing our dreams means embracing the unknown.   I dare you to be uncomfortable and go for it anyway.

I dare you, despite all the evidence your brain will find to dissuade you, to choose to believe you have exactly what it takes.   

Ask yourself this:  what’s on the other side of all this discomfort?   Living your purpose.   I dare you to put your focus on this, taking massive action with unwavering energy.   

Do you dream of starting a nonprofit, driving across the country, becoming a parent, learning to surf, writing a memoir, or even becoming a sign language interpreter?   I dare you to start now.   And no, you’re not too old; too uncoordinated, too disorganized and it’s not a stupid idea.  You are a human, so your brain will offer you all these stories.  I dare you to cast off those negative beliefs that hold you back. 

I dare you not to allow anything or anyone to stand in the way of doing what you were put on this earth to accomplish.  While people will have their opinions, it’s up to you whether or not to listen.  

Instead, tune into the soft voice of the One who knows.   Believe that He is with you, guiding and supporting you each step of the way.    Because you are here for a reason:  to live your best life.  

Do it now.  I dare you!

"The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why."  Mark Twain

by Bailey Frumen

How to Stop Judging Yourself (because that's kinda important)

Do you remember Shrinky Dinks; those sheets of polystyrene that you color and bake?  When they come out of the oven, they are ⅓ of the size.

Do you remember Shrinky Dinks; those sheets of polystyrene that you color and bake?  When they come out of the oven, they are ⅓ of the size.

When it comes to your truth and being your most authentic self, are you contracting and shrinking like a Shrinky Dink?

It’s easy at times to get caught up in the mindset of “My opinion/my life doesn’t matter” or “What I have to share is not important.”  

At times, we may question our very existence and wonder why we were ever born in the first place.

Have you, like me, played small for much of your life, bowing to others’ desires or hiding how you feel in order to be liked and accepted?

Although we cannot change the past, we can decide how we want to show up for ourselves and others in the future.

For me, self-doubt has been one of the contributors to my playing small.  It has prevented me from taking actions, remaining stuck in my head rather than courageously putting myself out to actually be seen and heard.

For instance, there are times where I have kept silent rather than speaking my truth.  Rather than lovingly sharing my thoughts and ideas with others, I have often shut down and withdrawn so as not to appear different or countercultural.

I wanted to fit in.  I have been learning to see the difference between “fitting in” and “belonging.”

“Belonging” is when you allow yourself to be exactly who you are and others love you for it.  Belonging is being accepted.  “Fitting in” is pretending to be someone you’re not, trying to conform.

When I am silent out of fear, I shrink and harbor resentment and frustration.

When I worry about others’ opinions of me, my self-confidence weakens and I don’t show up as the strong and secure woman I want to be.

I have been afraid that by sharing my true self, I would be judged by others, but ironically, I was judging myself in advance.  

I have come to see that my truth for my life is valid and when I speak it and embrace it, I feel expansive.  When I deny and withhold it, I shrink.

Having the inner strength to acknowledge the fact that my opinions are completely valid propels me forward to focus on taking action that will make a difference in my corner of the world.

My truth matters. So does yours.  

We are free to think whatever we want and to be whoever we want.

No one can take away that God-given right.

If your truth isn’t being honored and respected by those in your life, you may need to find your tribe.   We can choose to love others from afar.

Finding the people with whom you belong, those who support you and celebrate you for your differences is a beautiful gift.

Always speak your truth with love. God gave you a voice.

Always be your authentic self. You are unique and wonderfully made.

Find where you belong, surrounding yourself with and giving to others love and acceptance.

This is expansion.

“Expanding, growing, becoming more who we already are is our true purpose.” JW

“Life is too short, the world is too big and God’s love is too great to live ordinary.”  Christine Caine

Ready for your expansion? Start with your Vision Map...CLICK HERE

**Blog from Mindrise Coach, Jennifer Wielage

by Bailey Frumen

The Key to Get Out of Your Own Way

We all have those face down in the dirt moments--the ones where the criticism in your head and your thoughts of failure are far louder than any bit of positivity, hope, or desire to try again. We look at our failed attempts and most frustrating moment as a barometer of what it possible for ourselves.

This often causes us to shrink.

To shrink our dreams, our wants, our thoughts about what is possible down to the bare minimum.

And then all the next moves we make are an attempt to keep us safe. We slip into self preservation mode and our subconscious takes over. This can mean a myriad of things but most notably, it's the ways in which we talk ourselves OUT of what we had always wanted to do or thought was possible. It's not so much that we notice ourselves giving up--it's more that we are licking our wounds, recovering our pride, and restoring our sense of equilibrium.

We attempt to "go back to normal," a comfort zone of sorts.

I was talking to a client of mine this week about "The Hero's Journey." Have you heard of it?

It's concepts and process are founded from the work of philosopher, Joseph Campbell. Campbell explains that the hero's journey isn't just for classical heroes, but for all of us. It is, essentially, a path of maturation that all evolving humans follow. “It's a fundamental experience that everyone has to undergo.”

It takes us from the world we have known to navigate the challenges of life and from those challenges, we derive lessons that teach us who we are and what we want in life. Emerging from those experiences, we then develop our "new normal."

This is WHY coaching is so stinking important!! Because when we are faced with the challenges that make us want to give up, having a coach helps us to figure it out.

Having a "plus 1" in your corner is all about...

1. Shortening the learning curve
2. Not ALWAYS having to learn the hard way
3. Learning how to get out of your own way
4. Ultimately achieving your goals FASTER!!

Ready for a coach? Here's the scoop about working with us. And if having an epic 2022 is on the menu for you, book a 20-minute Strategy Call now.

by Bailey Frumen