Decision making, truth be told, it gets the best of most of us. We can have the best set of tools at hand and a cheerleading squad of thousands in the stands and still–indecision can paralyze us and knock us down every time. Read on for this week’s blog from Mindrise Coach, Jennifer Wielage, on her big decision to sell her house and how she finally decided what to do…
Confusion VS. Clarity
by Jennifer Wielage, Mindrise Coach
In my head, I have a fictitious court case going on. The case caption reads: Confusion, Plaintiff, vs. Clarity, Defendant. The Plaintiff, Confusion, is relentless and wants to obliterate the Defendant, Clarity. Clarity just wants a chance to get on the witness stand, but the judge (me) bangs the gavel and allows Confusion to drone on….
Decisions are just a normal, healthy part of being a human in the world. Ideally, with each choice we encounter, we would weigh the pros and cons, pray to God for direction, and when we make a decision, we’d make sure we like our reasons for making it. Then we’d make our decision and we’d never look back in regret.
The reality, though, is when we have a decision to make, we often choose the much more painful route. Instead of weighing our options and making our choice, we indulge in confusion and wallow in the energy of not knowing. We doubt ourselves, worry, hem and haw, vent to whomever will listen, elicit advice from others, ruminate the choices over and over in our heads, spin out. This results in becoming stuck and remaining unsure and becoming even more indecisive and confused. Then we blame the decision for causing our suffering, when in truth, it’s our thoughts, “I don’t know what to do,” “I may get it wrong” or “this is not going to work” that are the real culprit.
Speaking from personal experience, I have made the decision-making process excruciating!
Recently, we made a decision to put our home on the market. Admittedly, confusion and self-doubt crept in and I was overwhelmed. Mind you, I was overwhelmed, confused and doubtful because of my thoughts. Selling the home is neutral and without emotional charge, but my brain was making selling the house mean a ton of things about me and was coming up with tons of evidence to prove my thought true: “This is a bad idea!”
While we have some compelling reasons for making the choice to sell, we also have lots of really great reasons to stay. We love our property, our stunning view. Our newly-renovated cottage looks as if it came out of Better Homes and Garden magazine.
And yet, we feel called to sell. Our gut and our intuition said it was time for a change; but our hearts ache at the prospect of leaving. There is so much history in this home; so much love here and so many memories. The decision hurts. It involves loss.
Instead of indulging in confusion and unnecessary suffering, I know part of the process is feeling sadness. I am aware that I will feel uncomfortable. We are taking a leap, not knowing where we will land. But without change, we cannot grow, evolve and become more of who we were meant to be in the process. “Trust” is my mantra.
I’m speaking to myself when I ask this: what if we could decide to just decide?
Are you indecisive?
How we choose to think of ourselves and our abilities is totally up to us. We can choose to believe that we are decisive and confident when it comes to making decisions.
Life doesn’t just happen to us. I believe God gave us free will because He wants us to make choices freely and boldly. We have the choice to live an empowered life, one in which we tap into the spirit of faith, trust and certainty, and we get to believe that no matter what we decide, things will work out exactly the way they are supposed to.
While life is never certain, we can operate from a place of clarity and conviction. We can choose, when presented with various options, not to indulge in confusion. Instead, we can operate as mature and confident adults, believing in our amazing decision-making ability.
No matter what we decide, we can make our mind up in advance to have our own back and refuse to beat ourselves up if the outcome is not what we expected.
Have you ever wondered: “What if I…”, “What would have happened if I…”?
While we will never know what “would’ve happened if”, we do know that whatever did happen was supposed to happen. How do we know it was supposed to happen? Because it did. It’s that simple.
When making a decision, our brains usually go to the worst-case scenario. The “what if” monster will fiercely emerge. Just know, worry only pretends to be necessary. Worry is indecision’s first cousin.
We must give equal airtime to the best-case scenario. Because this outcome is equally -if not even more- likely!
What if we believed in our ability to make decisions? What if we trusted that we are being guided? What if we trusted our intuition? What if we believed in infinite possibilities?
In the courtroom of our minds, we can allow clarity to get on the witness stand, to explain its case, to show us how confusion and fear will keep us locked up.
Let’s allow clarity to prevail over confusion and faith to triumph over fear!
If you have been on the fence about whether or not to try coaching, what if you decided today?
