I’ve struggled with taking time to play, be curious, and have fun. I thought that the best way to call it back into my life would be by way of a love note.
This is a love note to curiosity, play, and fun—may we all call it back into our lives:
All the things I meant to say
I don’t want to crave you. But craving you feels like discovering a piece of me that I had long forgotten was lost.
I don’t want to think about you. But thinking about you reminds me of what it feels like to smile for no reason.
There’s something about you that reminds me of the best part of me—the one without fears, worries, or trepidations.
The part of me that just goes for it instead of analyzing every possible disaster, inevitably talking myself out of it.
You remind me of presence.Of being in the moment. Of remembering to capture the experience that I am having in the moment without worrying about causalities, falls-outs, or what if’s.
There’s this part of you that inspires me to just let it all go and that feeling feels so good. Near addicting.
I can feel it through my whole body—making me warm in my chest, running through my stomach, and consuming my every thought.
I work hard to have those thoughts focus on appreciation, presence, and gratitude. And in that I begin to realize what a great teacher that you have been for me.
You have imparted a lesson on me that I otherwise would have overlooked. Busy in my harried state of being harried.
I catch myself wanting to make plans with you, to think about what else could be fun, and begin missing you even though you haven’t gone. I find myself resisting attachment, fearing the pain of when you leave me so I pull back, I resist, I try not to make it mean so much to me.
I try to make myself like you less and I just can’t. I want to be the moth to the flame. I want to feel all of you at every moment even if it makes me burn. I want to act without fear of pain and fully drink in how carefree you are to me.
And I also want to run away. Fast. And far. In the opposite direction of you. I want to fear you because that fear keeps me safe. I want to run so I don’t have to face the worry because it’s become so tiresome that worrying more seems futile but inevitable.
But I crave you and I just can’t stop.
I invite you to consider—what parts of you feel almost forgotten? What parts of your emotional range have felt turned off or ignored? What would it look like to invite in the parts of you that have always been your favorite (even if it feels vulnerable or scary to lose them again)?
I’m a typical type-A, overworking, overachieving, driven leader but I also remember what it feels like to dance with curiosity, play, and fun.
Here’s to us all having more of it along the road ahead!
Are you ready to invite in your whole life? Let’s connect–click here to book your 20 min complimentary coaching consultation: bit.ly/baileyconsult