What are you hiding? Why are you hiding? What’s the story you are telling yourself about why you have to hide or shrink or change who you are? I know it happens for me when I’m telling myself a BS story about not being enough or I don’t deserve. Even sometimes when my fear masks itself as imposter syndrome and says, “who are you?” In this week’s blog by Mindrise Coach, Danielle Ford, takes a look at what’s under the mattress of our mind…
What’s Hiding Under Your Mattress?
by Danielle Ford, Mindrise Coach
There’s an old fable I remember from my childhood about a princess and a pea. To summarize it quickly, the main character is a prince looking for his princess. After traveling around the world, unsuccessful in his quest, one evening in the pouring rain a princess arrived at the gate of his home. Uncertain of her intentions & princess status, the queen decided to test her by putting a single pea under 20 mattresses. In the morning, the princess arose black and blue and described something hard had been in the bed , proving to the prince that she was indeed a princess.
While this fable is an exaggeration, for me it correlates to something so many of us deal with – hidden fears. When we think of fear, our minds tend to jump to the obvious ones – fear of spiders, fear of heights, and so on; but there are often deeper, more subtle fears that give us black and blues that just don’t seem to heal.
Allow me to share with you one of those hidden fears that affected my life for many years. For the first 2 decades of my life, I held a deep fear of being unlovable that I was completely unaware of. That fear eventually turned into a false and negative belief that I was indeed unlovable.
How did this impact my life, you ask? In one way or another, it showed up on a daily basis and impacted every single one of my relationships (romantic & otherwise). This fear-turned-belief caused me to act from a place of seeking worthiness, acceptance and love from everyone in my life – everyone, but me that is. I would wear myself thin doing all the things for everyone else in my life, before doing even just one thing for me. After years of behaving in those same patterns and still feeling unloved, burnt out and unfulfilled, I was inspired to act.
After reading a heap of self help books, seeking therapy and doing the hard work it takes to identify my patterns, the black and blues began to heal. Today, self love comes in the form of walking on the beach, a date with my acupuncturist, meditating, journaling and taking the time to rest when I need it. How do I know when I need it? On those days when I’m short of patience, unmotivated and starting to feel too tired, I know it’s time to hit the pause button and slow down a bit.
If you’re having trouble identifying those hidden fears, don’t hesitate to reach out to us at the Mindrise. We have the tools to help get you on the healing path and are here to support you throughout the journey.
