Just wow. I read this blog from Mindrise Coach, Danielle Ford, and had an immediate sinking feeling–I take too many marbles out of my jar. (read the blog, you’ll understand more…) I think in many ways we are taught that if we give, give, give, that’s how we find our sense of self-worth. Truth is–this is how we lose ourselves. When we give away more of ourselves than we fill up our jar. Read below for a powerful look at self-love and the importance of boundaries….
Self-Love as a Journey
by Danielle Ford, Mindrise Coach
If you’ve landed here, it’s likely that the concept of self-love isn’t entirely foreign to you. A deep truth for me today, is that my love is meant for me first – but that wasn’t always the case.
Since you’re here, join me in exploring a bit of my self-love journey – for quite a while, I struggled to truly understand self-love. Making other people happy always made me happy, but I was unaware of the fact that more often than not, I was compromising myself to make others happy. One day, a mentor of mine challenged me to a 30 day exercise. As a Taurus – stubborn and competitive – I was ready for whatever she’d throw my way… or so I thought.
The instructions?
- Take two jars the same size
- Fill one with marbles (or M&Ms because chocolate calories don’t count in February) and leave the other empty at first
- Over the course of 30 days: remove one marble from the full jar and place it in the empty jar every time I compromised a boundary or put myself second.
*Before you start – write a list of of 3-5 things to define compromising yourself and keep yourself honest
“EASY,” I thought… “but what’s the goal?” My mentor simply smiled.
For me, compromising boundaries looked like the following:
- Saying yes when something inside was saying ‘ehh no thanks’ or even ‘hell no!’
- Skipping a meditation to overwork
- Cutting my daily walk short (or skipping it) to run an errand for a loved one
- De-prioritizing ‘me time’
On day 17 I was shocked to find only one marble left in the jar that was full only two and a half weeks earlier. The lesson became crystal clear – there wasn’t much left for myself or anyone else, because I’d already given almost all of it away. Which, by the way, explained the exhaustion & irritability I was feeling.
If you choose to try this exercise and find yourself with an almost-empty-jar, please know you’re not alone & it absolutely does not mean that all hope is lost. For me, it was a wake up call that led to greater self-awareness, more balance and more ME in my life (which I can tell you for certain feels a whooooole lot better).
My most sincere wish for you is that you not only start to show yourself love, but more importantly that you start to feel that love.
If you’re struggling to define self-love, remember it look a little different for everyone – for you it might be reading one good book a month, journaling, a deep clean of the kitchen, a daily affirmation practice, a regular exercise routine, a scrumptious meal with a great friend, a night with a blank canvas and some oil paints, trying something new – the list goes on.
Most importantly, always remember to give yourself grace along the way, it is a journey after all.
Please reach out to share your own rituals, affirmations, practices, I’d love to hear them!
Ready to make yourself a priority–is it time for a change? We are here to help! Schedule your Strategy Session now, click here.