How hard are you on yourself when things don’t go like you planned them? Are you as compassionate with yourself as you are with others? You have probably heard that you can’t love other people fully until you love yourself. This means loving all of you, not only the good parts. Accepting your shadows is as important as accepting your lights.

Lance Essihos had been blaming others for what happened in his life for a long time. It wasn’t until he started to accept the role and responsibility he had in his life that he felt truly empowered. He now knows and shares with others how mastering your fears can be the best way to overcome adversity. Instead of letting your fear control you and block you from the things you want to do, you can lean into it. To do this, you need to trust your abilities and have faith in yourself.


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  • Learn more about Lance’s new book Mastering Adversity Here
  • Check out the University of Adversity Podcast  Here 


In this episode we covered:

  • (00:00) Welcome to The Mindrise Podcast
  • (03:23) The challenges Lance faced and how he realized he was responsible for his thoughts and actions. 
  • (8:55) Being kind to yourself and having grace during your development journey. 
  • (12:53) Self-love is loving your shadows as much as you love your light. Loving everything that makes you who you are.
  • (20:15) Lance’s motivation to try different tools and experiences, such as ayahuasca, as part of his healing process.
  • (24:15) “Listening to the call” has been Lance’s way to get through life and it has helped him find the things that bring him joy. 
  • (29:03) Leaning into your fears to clear the head noise and finding what truly aligns with you. (37:05) How your past experiences and recriminations can keep you from enjoying the present and living your life to the fullest.

Key Takeaways

  • It is key to understand the difference between being the victim and being empowered.
  • How you speak about yourself is instrumental in creating your reality.
  • There are going to be days in which things won’t go like you wanted them to. These days are especially important because they give you an opportunity to accept yourself.
  • Self-love is accepting every single part of yourself, not only the parts you like the most.
  • When you don’t trust yourself and don’t lean into your fears you are blocking yourself.
  • The things we are scared of are usually bigger in our minds than what’s really waiting for us on the other side. 
  • Bring what you have learned from your past to the present but don’t let your mistakes and regrets hold you back from living your life.

About Lance Essihos

Lance Essihos is a former hockey player and bartender who went through the darkest of times to find himself and get power over his life. He is now an innovative entrepreneur and podcaster, and his podcast University of Adversity is among the top 100 ranked podcasts. 

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The Mindrise Podcast is a production of Mindrise

Music Production by Corbin Dix